shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
