I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
