That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
