i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
