after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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