I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
