I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
