like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
