That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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