Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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