Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
