I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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