he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
