she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
