You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
