I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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