its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
