We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
