so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
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