if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
