Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's shark week go big or go home
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
