Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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