I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
