I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
