fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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