Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
