Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
