went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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