Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
