Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
