I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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