she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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