So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
