i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
