You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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