apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
