I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
