Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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