your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
