R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
