Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
