at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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