I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
