butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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