i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
