and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
