just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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