are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
