accomplished twins. life is a go
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i think my cat just said my name.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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