I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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