im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This house was built for laser tag.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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