We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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